God wrestle ye merry gentlemen…

Dateline Whitby: the last Friday before Christmas is known as ‘Black-eyed Friday’.

Neanderthal males from Middlesbrough descend en masse to drink long and deep of our noble Yorkshire beers. Then, in this cradle of learning, this wellspring of Christianity, fount of explorers, this birthplace of noble minds they celebrate the season of goodwill and peace to all men by leathering seven shades of crap out of one another.