Spilled espresso on the cat this morning.

Well, that’s what happens when you sleep a nanometre away from the Aga. (It has worn an omelette before now.) It licked the Lavazza off, and has been acting very strangely all day. It has just attacked me three times, duffed up the bannisters fine style, sent next door’s dog yelping over the horizon and a passing spaniel was saved from an  attack that would have made a tiger proud only by stout gate with mesh fencing stapled over the gaps.

There could have been spaniel claret* ( I bet that’s a googlewhack) all over the manor.

*Claret, Brit gangster-speak for blood.