Hinderwell Parish Council: interfering killjoy swine.
A mile from here is Runswick Bay beach. In my opinion, it is one of the finest places on earth. If I never went ‘on holiday’ again I wouldn’t care because I live within walking distance of this wonderful place. The obligatory golden sand of the perfect beach, but with jurassic rocky beaches either side enough to keep the inner naturalist happy.
To walk it on a sunny day (as I did today) is to disprove The Fall of humanity. Kids build sand castles, fathers help them dam streams, cricket is played, the sea is paddled in, and to add to the joy, dogs long penned up in urban back gardens and the boots of cars race around like things possessed, tails flying and tongues lolling. They chase thrown stricks into the sea, savage pieces of washed up kelp, chase balls, gallop up to you, have a wag and tear off again such is the joy of being a dog in a wide open space. Today I saw a jack russell savaging a piece of shale several times its own size in a most determined and hilarious fashion, hounds of various sizes tearing around the sand and flinging themselves into the sea after sticks, stones and balls.
Every morning there is a local social club of largely retired residents who keep the joints supple and blood flowing walking their dogs. Greeting and the news exchanged (humans), bums are sniffed, smells smelled and stones peed on (dogs). Human and canine society is knit a little closer. Here and this, the world is made a better place.
Enter the local politicians. They wish to have all dogs kept on leads and aim to enforce it with on the spot fines. Now, I spend a lot of time on Runswick Bay beach, looking at strandline, picking my way over the beach more closely than the average. I really can’t remember seeing any piles of dog shit. Not many. Any. The owners know they’re in a lovely place and tend to pick it up. The sea deals with what is left. I’ve been watching dog and owner behaviour, and have for the last three Sundays asked people at random whether they have felt terrorised by dogs, whether any children have been snarled at or bitten? No.
There are as far as I can see no reasons for this leashing to be done other than the pillockish self-aggrandizement and interfering busybodying natures of the people on the council. Maybe as individuals they are not twisted interferers. Possibly their pantries are messy and they are enthusiastic swingers. Maybe they let their children eat worms. But once they get a bit of power and this goes from Parish Council to the European Parliament people do things because they can and equate busyness with political effectiveness. And in this case Hinderwell Parish Council have trodden on the wrong paws. As they will find out at the next parish council meeting, and if they try to enforce it and fine local people £60, well I can see things around here becoming very unpleasant indeed. And the Parish Council will be on the wrong end of it.
Declaration of non-interest: I do not own a dog. The pollution I do see? Insane tangles of monofilament fishing line which I often pick up and bin (two carrier bags full is a usual Sunday afternoon haul) which often has sharp hooks and lead weights in it. Here’s one Sunday’s haul:
But I don’t want people being prevented from fishing any more than I want people being forced to keep their dogs on a lead. Hinderwell Parish Council just need to stop it and go and do something useful like pick up litter. Or their noses. Just stop pointlessly screwing around with one of the great joys of life around here.
