The Northern Chamber Orchestra

came to Whitby last night. To play, you understand, not for fish and chips. And superb they were too. We get orchestras about three times a year (usually the Northern Sinfonia or the Manchester Camerata) but the NCO were a new act. And after hearing them play Tchaikovsky’s Variations on a Rococo Theme, a piece by Lars Eric Larssen and Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony they can come back anytime. The programme opened with three pieces played by Scarborough Area Schools Youth Orchestra which has improved immeasurably since I committed crimes against music in their ranks.

Then came the pros: their chosen cellist for the Tchaikovsky had fallen ill, but the replacement was astonishingly good. I’d forgotten how lovely Tchaikovsky could be, despite having to study him (to no good point) for my music ‘o’ level. But the main course was Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony in B flat. As director Nicholas Ward said in his intro, this one is often overshadowed by Beethoven’s great odd-number symphonies - 3 (the Eroica), 5, 7 and 9 the Choral. It’s our loss because the 4th is no less of a masterpiece.

A performance of a symphony is one of the things that sets us apart from the beasts. Sometimes I listen to a Beethoven symphony and follow the score for fun. Simply composing such a thing is a work of genius: listening to a dozen violins playing one of Beethoven’s frantic passages and each hitting the notes dead on pitch and true to a tenth, a twentieth of a second is an astonishing feat. The first bassoonist was as cool as polar bear shit. I’m glad they made the trip across the Pennines, and hope we’ll see them again.

However, I’d like to apologize to them for the venue: Whitby Pavillion is a disgrace. It should be dynamited and the rubble dumped miles out to sea along with the mangled remains of the people on Scarborough Council who thought this stretch of wonderful coast would be improved by shoving a B&Q style shed on a derelict ugly old building. The hall acoustics are awful. Panels are missing from the ceiling, the lighting is harsh, the air conditions adds a sotto voce roar to the quiet passages of music. The decor is tatty, stray wires dangle, there are no dressing rooms, merely a screened-off area where performers huddle. For some reason a large film screen, useless to the orchestra, dominated the hall. In the foyer, staff crash around and talk during the performance, denizens of the 1940’s weekend make more noise. It has less atmosphere than the moon. It’s a dump. It has the most magnificent views over the sea, the beach and piers, it should be an ornament to the coast, it should have wonderful acoustics and be a place alive with atmosphere where you can’t wait to come back. I’ve been in toilets in communist East Germany with more charm.

The interval tea, for which someone had the gall to charge, was an offence before God and man. Disgusting. There is no excuse for bad tea except buying cheap ingredients and employing staff who don’t give a shit about customer service. And that’s not an excuse, it’s some providing poor service on our council tax and someone needs doing for treating the public who pay their wages with such indifference. Whitby Pavilion is an example of Scarborough Borough Council at its very worst.

But apart from that, I hope the Northern Chamber Orchestra comes back soon. Go browse their recordings and support this fine northern orchestra here.Director Nicholas Ward (right) and some of the NCO after the performance of Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony.